


Who Said We'd Be Good Together Anyway?

by Andrew___Help



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blood and Injury, Cheating, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Multi, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:48:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26719312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrew___Help/pseuds/Andrew___Help
Summary: Ushijima harem fic I thought of while listening to Yagami YatoKinda based on Ushijima's ASMR.People who confess to Ushijima are given an almost impossible task. If they manage to finish this task, Ushijima claims he'll take them out on a date. If they don't break during the date, Ushijima claims they'll become his significant other. If they don't break before graduation, Ushijima claims they'll become his fiancé. If they don't break before the wedding, Ushijima claims they'll be his lawfully wedded partner.Of course, only foolish girls are going to believe that. Right?So then, why is the Guess Monster asking for a task? And since when was Ushijima dating Goshiki? Wait-WHAT'S GOING ON WITH SEMI?! WHO'S THIS NEW GUY SHIRABU IS DATING?! UHM-OIKAWA WHAT THE FUCK! DID YOU JUST TRANSFER TO-you know what, I'm done. I-I don't even know what to say.
Relationships: Goshiki Tsutomu/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Hanamaki Takahiro/Iwaizumi Hajime/Matsukawa Issei/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Semi Eita/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Sugawara Koushi/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 8





	1. Synopsis

Attention everyone: I have a unique way of writing. Unlike people who write paragraphs upon paragraphs, I like to right a couple detailed paragraphs and go on to another scene. You'll be able to tell when a scene changes by a line separating one part of the story from another. Fight me if you don't like it.

The rest of the note is for Wattpad users cuz format and for anyone who doesn't read tags.

So Imma go over the main ships with y'all. Some ships won't be listed cuz they're just kinda touched upon or I don't want you to know it yet.  
Also, there are many rare pairs here, not all ships are rare pairs but I plan to somehow squeeze in other ships and references to stories of mine. If you don't like it, you can leave it.

Ships  
UshiTen, needs more flavour

UshiGoshi, pure babies

UshiSemi, y e s

UshiSaku, this won't be until later on

UshiSuga, look, I know it's crazy, but the fanart my dudes, they're adorable

ShiraUshi, fanart once again

UshiOi, fuck you I love this ship

UshiIwa, but make it platonic angst with a hint of passive agressive friends with benefits

MatsuHanaIwaOi, but Oikawa fucks up

Past IwaKage, fuck you ilts×2

KageSuga, fuck you ilts×3, yes, there is two Suga ships

NobuKuroYaku, favorite ot3, the Nekoma third years

Mentioned AkaKen, pretty setter ship, do I have to say more?

YamaYachi, p r e c i o u s

KyouTeru, .........i'll just see myself out

Any other ships I haven't thought of yet, will not be included, or are supposed to be a secret for plot.

Warnings  
Implied/Referenced Spouse & Child Abuse

Implied/Referenced Homophobia

Implied/Referenced Self-harm & Attempted Suicide

Blood

Fistfights

Cheating

Angst

Friends with benefits

Implied/Referenced Eating Disorders  
(This is glossed over; however, just in case, I did put a warning. The disorder is anorexia. However, I also reference another disorder that handles the fear of eating around others, which I have. That means it will be based off my own fears and current experiences. But like I said, these are merely glossed over.)

Implied/Referenced Sexual Activities

(All by third years, kinda the reason I put a warning for friends with benefits)

I think that's it. If I end up writing something not on the list that should have a warning, please tell me.

Uhm, I'll put warnings on the chapters where these come in. However, homophobia and cheating are some things that kinda stay with the book so I can't really put warnings for those otherwise you would have to skip a lot of the book.

I refuse to write any content that is outright homophobic because whenever I try to write that stuff, I feel like puking. So, it's only going to be mentioned briefly in sentences despite being a reoccurring theme with some characters. I'm censoring all of the slang words about queer people. Only a few times will a character quote or repeat a homophobic phrase.

So, yeah, that's about all I have to say for today.

Words: 432  
Last Edit: 11/09/20 or 11 Sept 2020  
Started: 11/09/20  
Ended: ../../..


	2. A-tisket

"I'll eat your child as my baguette topping if you continue to stare," the blondie stated to the pretentious young couple and their babbling fiend who fisted noodles from his mother's plate into his drooling mouth.

He went back to piling mac 'n' cheese on the bread until he felt the stares of his upper and underclassmen. Turning towards his rather annoying kouhai, Shirabu glares and asks,"What? You're staring at me like something's wrong. Get off my dick, Bowl Cut Brat." 

The living, breathing salt shaker then faces towards his plate again. He stabs the baguette's guts with a spoon, digging the soft insides out. Now, Shirabu held a hollow cup of baguette crust. Then, he started to pour the remaining mac n cheese on his plate into it, carefully avoiding any other foods from spilling in.

With all eyes on him, the setter raised the goblet of deliciousness to his mouth and crunched down. Some melted cheese rested on his lip; he quickly licked it up and dove to bite the meal again and again and again. By the end, there was traces of cheese in the male's hair, and his team and many others wore looks of mixed disgust and fascination.

\--------------------------------------

"I'm going to ask Miracle Boy for a task." "Tendou, are you stupid? I don't think Ushijima's gay. He's so.... traditional and blunt." "So? I'll do it anyway." "Tendou, you idiot, we both know this isn't going to work. He made i-"

\---------------------------------

Thus begins 'Who Said We'd Be Good Together Anyway?'

Starring Ushijima Wakatoshi 

Tendou Satori

Goshiki Tsutomu

Shirabu Kenjiro

Semi Eita

Oikawa Tooru

Sugawara Koushi

Kageyama Tobio

Iwaizumi Hajime

And so many more people I'd rather not have to list cuz there's too many

\----------------------------------

"You tit with legs! I said cappuccino, not frapuccino."

"My bad I thought you said fapuccino."

"I-what? Don't tell me you-gross. Alright, I'll make it myself."

\----------------------------------

"I have a cappuccino for Sakuatsu... Here you go sir! Thank you!"

. . .

"I have a killer lightbulb iced fruit tea*, iced pomegranate tea, and butterfly garden tea° for Semi... Alright sir! Here's your drinks! Have a good day!"

. . .

"So... why are we here anyway Semi? You just said to meet you here."

"Yeah Semi Semi. What's up? Is Ushiwaka late, or does he have something going on? Or maybe, he's not supposed to be here?"

"Semi-semi-semi-semi! You have to look at the wifi name," Reon starts to berate the male with poking as he giggles feriously very unlike himself, but for reasonable cause.

"Why the hell should I care?" the Sugawara reject questions, raising an eyebrow and annoyed look.

"Tendou-look!" The red haired maniac burst into laughter upon seeing the wifi name.

(Yes, this is really a wifi name; I've been to house of the person. If you can't see it, I am incredibly sorry. Ive been trying to make it work all day. Basically, it's a screenshit of two wifi names. One called FURRIES R US and the other called milksencore, owned by the same people. Furries r us is very fitting. I don't have a screenshot of it, but there's another called RAINBOW ROAD.)

"Semi Semi, look!" Tendou manages to whisper scream through his wheezes.

"I don't get what's-pfffffff... Oh screw you." After gaining their composures, Semi continued speaking,"Reon, would you like to ask Tendou why he's a colassal idiot?"

"Semi, calm down. Tendou, what did you get him worked up about? And why are the other two not here?" Reon inquired, wanting to get answers about the strange meetup they were having.

\--------------------------------------

killer lightbulb iced fruit tea* is a raspberry, citrus, and strawberry tea in lightbulb looking glass. The winding part of it is the cover, and there's a golden yellow straw to match it. slightly darker than the red color of strawberries 

butterfly garden tea° is iced butterfly pea flower & lemon tea comes in a rounded whiskey glass, purple color

Words: 616 

Last Edit: 27/09/20 or 27 Sept 2020


	3. A-tasket

"If Tendou's an idiot for wanting to confess to Ushijima, then Goshiki must be dying from his own sheer stupidity."

"S'cuse me, the fuck?" The red headed maniac butted in even more with the next sentence,"What did Goshiki do? Huh? Oh, does he like Ushiwaka too? Hm? Hm? Hm?" Tendou's eyes get wider and wider as he leans in closer and closer to Reon. Arms, a little too thin upon further observation, are pillars that (somehow) securely hold up the towering male's _dangerously slim_ body.

With a questioning glance, Reon asks,"Uh, you two don't know? Wait, that's a stupid question. I thought you would know Tendou. Then again, knowing Ushijima, he wouldn't think it's important to tell you."

"What is it?" the confused duo say; Semi ending a second or so after the lovestruck boy.

"I-um-ashjkamxv-GoshikiandUshijima aredating," the boy flings his head to the side upon completing the sentence.

•

•

•

•

•

"Oh. I see," Tendou's body shifts back up and flops into the seat heavily with a distorted plop; his arms too weak to hold up his now heavy body like all of the universe's gravity shifted itself upon him. The facial expression he held before plastered on to his skin. Never leaving until Semi peels away the mask, peels away the tears. At that point, it dissolves peacefully. 

"Tendou, what was that? You literally r-"

The normally bright male comments quickly, effectively cutting off the attitude prince, "Semi Semi, not right now."

  
"..... alright."

They stay in their rather uncomfortable positions until they get a call. Tendou allows the red phone to ring for a few seconds before lazily reaching for it, missing and letting it fall on ground, and finally grabbing it to answer. He waited for the caller to speak first.

"...Is this Ushijima's number?" the voice rang a bell in his mind, but Tendou bothered not to guess who.

"No! I can give you his though!" Sliding the act on and disguising his sadness, Tendou responded cheerfully.

"Oh. Mmm, yeah, that'll work. What is it?" they inquired. Tendou could swear a whispering of 'that damn Ushiwaka' emitted from the caller too.

"Ah! It's (***)***-****! Bye!" he hung up swiftly and moved into a comfortable position of leaning against the bookstore's window.

* * *

(Warning just in case you need it: this section will include friends with benefits and references to sexual activities. This section expands on the caller, Iwaizumi, and why he needed Ushijima's number.)

Iwaizumi knew that he might have messed up there. Calling the number Ushijima gave him only a few hours after receiving it was foolish, but can you really blame him? Practice dragged on and on with the endless antics of Aoba Johsai. One day, Oikawa skipped. The next, Kyoutani fought a guy and got suspension. Nobody knows where he went too. Not only that but Watari, their libero, nearly twisted his ankle. The self-proclaimed meme team, Mattsun and Makki, teased his childhood friend a little too much and then complained _by_ _using_ _memes_ when they were given extra serves.

So, if you asked how his past few weeks have been, exhausting couldn't begin to describe the mess. Luckily, Ushijima could be here any moment now to 'make it all better.' Talk about unhealthy stress coping mechanisms, jeez Iwaizumi.

Sure enough, the bell thing on the store door sounded, and when he looked out from the snack aisle, there stood the super ace himself. Iwaizumi grabbed a bag of chips and some candy at random and quickly paid for the items.

"Iwaizumi," the giant addressed him a little too formally for comfort. "It seems you are ready to go. Are we supposed to go to your house or my house?"

"Yours, I'd rather not risk Oikawa coming over. You sure you want to do this whole Netflix and Chill, movie then sex thing?" Both men walked slowly, and Iwaizumi made sure to lower his voice at the last part even if the few other people on the sidewalk were not in earshot distance and wouldn't care what they say.

* * *

**aight, so that's a wrap on this chapter. hopefully, i'll be able to get the next one up this coming week. no guarantees though. if it's not up by then, it'll be pushed back a week. sorry, i'm just now getting into the swing of things with highschool. sorry about the late publication. i thought i published this on the 29th, but i guess i pressed preview instead, so yeah. sorry about that! next update will most likely be on Saturday or Sunday.**

**words: 677**   
**last edit: 29/11/20 or 29 Nov 2020**


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